EWP MAY FOCUS GROUP

This month our discussion at our Focus Group, was an exploration into the meaning of what Freedom meant to us as women, living here in Australia where freedom is espoused as a natural right of birth for all citizens. But of course, it is by its very nature, quasi-freedom, depending on who you ask; when you ask; and how you structure the question.

First of all, in order for us to survive in a civilised manner, we have to have Laws of the Land, governing our behaviours that all must obey, even if those laws conflict with Native Laws which precede white settlement. This means none of us are truly free to follow our instincts without the consequence of further incarceration.  

Then there are the other forms of imprisonment like being captive to the society, cultures and religions we have grown up with.  To our memories, conscious and unconscious, which are drivers for the way we live our quasi-free lives.  Often, living our days, totally blind to the gilded cages we, or others, have placed us in.

However, the bars are there all the same. Seen or unseen, we will eventually realise their existence, by the restrictive nature of our natural flight path.  Our wings have been clipped without us even knowing. As Coco Chanel said, “The most courageous act is to think for yourself. Aloud”.

Often, it is the expectations of others (or ourselves), that confine us to a way of living that no longer serves us.  Perhaps I have a natural inclination to avoid confrontation and have always removed myself from it and, as a consequence, have been labelled ‘Miss goody two shoes’, which I just went along with. I then moulded myself to fit into that casket. Lived my entire life hitherto, neatly slotted into a personality that others created for me. But now, I want something/someone of my own creation! Or, perhaps men have always dictated to me how and who I am. First father, bosses, then husband, sons, etc but I’m over it!  

Once realized, from observing through this new prism, what we no longer want, we can gradually clarify for ourselves what it is we truly want and how to proceed to attain it.

So yes, freedom comes in many forms throughout our lives and at different stages in our journey but always, in order to achieve personal freedom, we must first be sure of what our objectives are.  And that undoubtedly means that we must first know our core values to align the two. Or as Susan David said, “Your values will bring you freedom from social comparison”. 

Of course, there are certain barriers to us living a free life of choice, such as health, finance and age, but often if we look hard enough there are ways to navigate around these blockades. If we are sick, we can observe the beauty of nature all around us; financially we can adjust our expectations and spending to meet our needs; and again, age-wise we can moderate what we love doing to our capabilities.

Then there are the millions of people living the so-called free life who have imprisoned themselves with debt; fear; drugs; alcohol; porn; on-line addictions; weight control; body improvements and I’m sure many other ways incarcerating their souls. However, I’m reminded of the quote, “Know the truth, and the truth will set you free”. I believe, knowing the root of these various bondages, will always go a long way towards leading people towards the liberation from those shackles and set them free. 

Some people entrap themselves in the snare of regret.  That awful cage that offers no doors for escape but the acceptance of the choices and decisions they have made. If need be, self-forgiveness, empathy and love are the only keys to unlock that cage and to be free of guilt.

So after hearty discussions and disclosures of what the state of freedom meant to all of us present, we went on to view a TED X talk by Bianca Olthohoff who over the years has spoken to thousands of women incarcerated in prisons throughout the U.S. and from her interviews and talks with these women, there were heartbreaking admissions of what Freedom meant to them:

• Freedom from addiction

• Freedom to be with their children

• Freedom to live the life they once envisaged

• Freedom from abduction

• Freedom from the surrounding broken humanity 

• Freedom from regrets  

Freedom to have someone believe they were enough and worthwhile, just as they were.

And above all, the Freedom to live a Life of Purpose!  To know that their life mattered! This was the overwhelming message/cry from those incarcerated women. To know their life, no matter how horrendous, had not been lived in vain!

In conclusion, Albert Einstein sagely said, “Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value” I heartily agree but would like to adjust it slightly (not quite so sagely), to -Try not to become a wo/man of success, but rather a successful and valuable wo/man for all.

This was a very powerful meeting focusing on what it means, as humans and women, to know Freedom in its many forms and a reminder, that when we speak to people in our lives, our words have the power to set them free, and to remember that Freedom and Purpose, is what we all want in this life. And, for us to support others as well as our future selves, we need to Claim and Honour our Freedom.

Thanks for reading, but for now,

Toodle Pip

Bella.h.

May 2025