HUMAN CONNECTION

Let’s Talk About Connection

Adding to the list of core values we have been reflecting on in depth this year, Human Connection was once again an extremely appropriate and timely subject to be discussing this month. Because the world many of us envisaged and believed we were creating in the nineteen sixties, has not eventuated. We've got side-tracked, and are now finding ourselves completely de-railed, disconnected, disillusioned and lost. And likely, heading for oblivion, unless we collectively hitch our wagons to an engine fueled on love and connectedness, not individualistic, egotistic, money-driven power.

So, to begin the discussions of the evening, we voiced what human connection meant to us individually and how this played out in our varied and diverse lives. We identified feeling connected by the following emotions:

·      A feeling of bond-ship

·      A feeling of safety

·      A feeling of belonging

·      A feeling of being seen.

·      A feeling of being understood.

These were the main ways that were expressed as prerequisites for experiencing a connection with another human being.  It was established very early on that in order for us to acknowledge a connection with another human being, the connection has to evoke a positive emotional response.  Given that connection is more than mere socialising, where most of us can wear our masks of civility when required, feeling personally connected to another human being is not always easy.

Brene Brown discovered this when she first studied Human Connection, and continued to find there was a disconnection suffered by many people because of the concept of "shame".  She found that so often human beings were afraid to reveal their authentic self, for fear of negative judgment, shame, self judgement, spouse judgement, friends, colleagues, strangers’ judgement. To be ashamed of who you really are, allowing yourself and others to undermine your worth!  And no doubt, the number of people who feel that way now is growing with the horrendous online bullying, stalking, and public shaming going on. 

Connection with another human being, whether alike or unlike, life-long or brief, is a deep human engagement. This is no doubt why the population of the world is becoming increasingly disconnected. Because it is not always easy. Especially if people are different.  And let’s face it, with our diverse natures, upbringings and experiences, we are all different!  But at the same time, we all want to feel safe, seen, relevant, appreciated and connected to our tribe; Homo Sapiens.

Unfortunately, we are not doing too well. Our emotional and intellectual advances appear to be declining while our technological progress seems hell bent on outsmarting us. It is almost as if we’ve been feeding the wrong wolf for aeons (our egos), and unless we can switch the plates, we will follow the path of our extinct ancestral Homo archaic humans.

We all acknowledged that the world feels a very disconnected universe at the moment, and that technologies, like social media, which at first appeared to be connecting people, have had the opposite effect on human civilization. There now exists a lack of care, lack of accountability, and a lack of authenticity.  We now live in a world where we can invite anyone across the planet into our homes – while not even knowing our neighbours. Our children barely know how to converse with people face-to-face (including with members of their own families).  Not only that, but young people are committing suicide at heartbreaking rates!  We constantly feel overwhelmed by the onslaught of negative news being thrust upon us and feel helpless to change the outcomes.  The world’s wealth, which was purportedly going to improve the lives of billions of people living in poverty, is now so grossly distributed among the richest 1% of society, it is appalling!  

Our individualistic, hierarchical, technocratic way of life is a disaster, and we need to universally acknowledge it, stop it, and change direction NOW, before it is too late.

Mother Earth, which is connected to everything, is crying out for our help.  Has been for years. Native cultures have also been telling us for years that we are headed for the cliffs. We need to heed and honour their ancient wisdom. But first of all, we need to stop. And we need to listen!  To ourselves first.  Become reconnected to our being-ness. Sit with our truth and discomfort, and remember that we are enough, no matter what we have told ourselves or others have told us. We are enough as we are. We can build on that starting point if we want, but neither we nor anyone else can subtract from that foundation. Then we need to listen, really listen to one another. Even when it is difficult. Because likewise, they are enough, just as they are, and we should celebrate that fact also. Regardless of how alike or different from us they are.

As women who down through the ages have proved they are extremely capable and knowledgeable when connected with one another, we need to rise up and sit down together.  Because when women sit together, they knit together. Not just garments. Plans of action.  They’re like ants when working and studying with one another. Using their collective wisdom.  This is what the world is lacking. And has been lacking for way too long!

Our united voice is desperately needed to articulate loud and clear that we refuse to support this one-sided disaster any longer.  Because not only is it not good for anyone, unfortunately, it will prove deadly for everyone, unless we women and men connect and collectively begin dredging our way out of this miasma.

Although our subject was well discussed, we missed our entire Goulburn contingent and their insightful offerings on this very relevant topic.  But as we all know, life is what happens when you’re busy doing other things. We look forward to seeing them and all our other members next month as we continue our conversation exploring these important topics together.

Toodle Pip for now.

I’m off to do some knitting

Bella.h.