REFLECTIONS

Often, for me at least, the hardest thing is starting; the easiest thing is giving up, and the most rewarding, is completing. So here I am, and I’ve already accomplished the hardest thing: Starting.  Although I hasten to add, it is not because I don’t enjoy writing this blog, but rather, by year’s end, my ink well is looking severely depleted! And as the years pass, it’s never overflowing at the beginning of each year either.

Not to despair, I should be able to scratch out a few more lines before I run dry.

Our final EWP Focus group meeting for the year was on a beautiful Spring evening, at Barb and Tisiola’s home in the Southern Highlands, NSW, where we enjoyed a more casual, outdoor setting to reflect on the Core Values we have been discussing and analysing over the course of this year.  

The Core Values we decided to reflect on were the following:-

·      Freedom

·      Connection

·      Compassion

·      Purpose

·      Respect

·      Reliability.

And as always, Tisiola, designed our discussion in such a way that made it easy for us to focus on the core values that spoke loudest and strongest to us individually, and this was done in such a way that the six core values were broken up into two sets of three each, and we then spent time assessing those first. i.e.  Freedom, Connection and Compassion, followed by the remaining three, Purpose, Respect and Reliability. We were to select one from each group.

This was an interesting exercise, because although Tisiola noted at the outset, that Connection had been the main one that resonated with those of us at the 2025 Retreat when these core values were chosen as those that uphold us - Connection on the night I am writing about, came a long second to Freedom.

Before I go further, these are the figures:

·      Freedom - 7 people chose this core value to reflect on

·      Connection – 3 people chose this core value to reflect on

·      Compassion – 1 person chose this core value to reflect on

Freedom was not so much about breaking free of domestic shackles (all of us had done that years ago), but more about:-

·      Being Seen

·      Being Heard

·      Being Respected

·      Having Dignity

·      Having a Voice

·      Having a Choice

And coming from those who chose this core value, freedom was also about having emotional freedom. Freedom from the jailhouse of one’s own story, and being able to form new, fresh habits, without the limitation's emotional captivity places on one.

One of our members reflected on Freedom as this: Freedom from children and parental care, and freedom from the expectations we often place on others. This was interesting because by freeing herself from expectations and pre-conceived thoughts and actions of others, she felt free to listen and really hear and enjoy mental freedom.

Another one shared that Freedom from physical and mental ill health has now freed her from self-doubt, and given her the strength and knowledge that she is more than capable of achieving whatever it is she chooses to. She does not have to wait for some illusive person to come along and help her achieve her dreams. With her newfound freedom from self-doubt she knows what she wants and goes about getting it.

Freedom from the crippling fear of ageing and dying, another shared. And given that both of these things are inevitable while ever we breathe, overcoming these two fears is an enormous breakthrough if we are ever to hope for a life well lived and a death worth dying for. Claiming this freedom has been a hard but well-fought battle for this beautiful lady, and she now feels free to enjoy her remaining years.

Freedom from all the sacrifices of motherhood and running a successful business, and the ability to recharge her empty tank, was shared by another member. Not feeling guilty for wanting to place herself in a good and wholesome place. Having the freedom to make choices that, for once, supported her and her care for herself, instead of always placing others' needs and wants before her own.

And then there is the quest and hunger to taste the freedom from self-imposed guilt and lethargy that seem insurmountable. This member knows it is there, but continues to feel lost and overwhelmed, trying to find it. This was a very painful thing to witness, and we all empathized with her.

The final freedom comes from eye-bawling the fraying web of life around us. Now this is a biggie, because there is an enormous amount of freedom that comes after facing your true self, one’s story, relationships, the world and how we choose to live in that space.  Because recognizing that choice rewards a person with immense freedom and liberation. We can choose to disconnect from one another through technology or re-connect the way humans have for millennia.

Yes, the world we have all known is fraying around us, but our evolutionary past clearly shows us how capable our species is when it comes to survival. And that is not by way of the strongest and the fittest, but rather our ability to show one another kindness, compassion, understanding, and love through cooperating and connecting our shared humanity.

Connection was the second most chosen core value that resonated with some of our members, and this was felt through being seen, heard and listened to. A shared feeling of being in a safe place, where one could be one’s true self, with no fear of reprisals or recriminations, because authenticity and respect are two of the values that are at the core of EWP teachings.

This feeling of connection also gave one of our members the confidence to connect more honestly with herself, to identify her lack of formal education as the barrier to her confidence to express her true self, and to form meaningful, non-judgemental friendships.  After all, human connection is something that comes from the heart, and that connection is brought about through truly knowing someone.

Compassion was chosen by one of our newer members, who I’ve always felt exemplifies the very word itself.  From all I have seen and heard, this individual embodies the meaning of compassion, despite having had to face barriers of judgment, acceptance, trust and language.

Our final three core values to choose from were:-

·      Purpose - chosen by 6

·      Reliability - chosen by 5

·      Respect – 0

Purpose was along the lines of looking into our internal compass and recognizing what gives us true joy, and brings us that feeling of wholeness, completeness, and emotional fulfilment.

For one of us, purpose was clearly defined as getting up every day, and continuing to be as respectful and reliable as always. Another was to make herself her purpose, by way of connecting to nature, friends and gardening, and fill her space with more laughter and less solitude.

Themes that repeatedly came through with this choice of Purpose were the desire to age with good health; a deep need to maintain a connection with nature, and the desire to explore creative pursuits. It was also noted that purpose need not be solely one thing, nor need it be static; it can and often is a process, evolving alongside us.

The key factors expressed with the choice of Reliability were: - do what you say; be accountable; don’t over-extend yourself and be capable of relying on yourself (for yourself and others), both physically and emotionally.  Related to reliability, came the word integrity, which I think goes hand in hand. Of course, all these beautiful moral principles held by some can be abused by others, and as mentioned by one of our members, with this event came her need to set boundaries, and this has not only protected her but it has also given her a new appreciation of herself.

No, ‘Respect ‘was not a chosen core value at this evening’s meeting, but it was very much present throughout our discussions. As it always is. Self-respect and respect for one another are the choices we have each made, by continuing to participate, grow and embrace our true potential both individually and communally with EWP.

Then, with the following words Tisiola wound up our evening of reflection:

"Together, we close this circle for another year. May our colours shine brightly within us and among us, reminding us of who we are at our core: women rooted in compassion, freedom, connection, purpose, respect, and reliability. As we carry these core values forward, may we embody them, allowing them to shape our choices, our relationships, and how we move through the world and live our lives.

May the spectrum we create together strengthen our bonds, illuminate our paths, and inspire others to join us. As each of us grows, may our collective light grow too—a vibrant community becoming stronger, braver, and more beautifully connected, side by side, colour by colour, woman by woman.

And so it is. We are valued equally."

Well as you can imagine, this ink well of mine is getting very low now, so before running out completely, I want to acknowledge the closing of another wonder-filled, and educational year with Embracing Women’s Potential, where we have all learned new things about ourselves and one another, and strengthened new muscles of understanding our unique place and purpose in this beautiful, amazing, awe-inspiring world we co-habit.

I also want to thank Barb and Tisiola for their ever-open hearts and home to us all, and last but by no means least, congratulate Tisiola (despite the serious health issues which in true fashion she has overcome), on her herculean achievement of completing, and passing her Doctorate of Education in Organizational Leadership. Well done, Dr Tisiola Lear! You are an inspiration to us all. 

Looking forward to seeing and catching up with everyone in the new year.

Toodle Pip

Bella.h.