The Power of Perceptions
This was the subject of Tisiola Lear’s first, more in-depth discussions, to assist us in our quest to build more meaningful relationships.
She commenced, by encouraging us to become more aware of the thoughts entering our minds. As she said, becoming a bit more discerning of what we feed our minds, in the same way we do with food, if we want a healthy body. So too, it is with the mind. Because our every positive and negative thought affects our whole being. Well, immediately, that got my undivided attention, because whilst I pride myself on the good, healthy food I imbibe, I feast non-stop on junk-thoughts! Not such a healthy diet after all, I chastised myself. So listen up, Bella!
By becoming more aware of the thoughts we allow ourselves to dwell on we can also become far more in charge of the reactions we have to our thoughts. And if we don’t like what we are seeing, we have a greater capacity to change the way we think/react etc.
Now some people, choose to numb their negative memories and emotions, but unfortunately this is not the path to travel because this choice leads to indiscriminate numbing of all emotions; positive and negative.
It reminded me of the indiscriminate way chemotherapy used to just blast the body, killing good and bad cells alike. Fortunately they have made massive improvements on the earlier ways of doing things, now pin-pointing cancer cells far more accurately. And similarly, we can make enormous life improving changes to our mental, emotional and physical selves, by adopting the correct tools and strategies to minimise our negative patterns of behaviour, and maximise our good.
I remember being told once that a good communicator is a good listener. And this is exactly what Tisiola’s message was telling me when she said that good communication requires good rapport and that you build rapport with another person, by being there, being present, and really listening to what the communicator is really saying. And from that, you will be able to ask the right questions in order to clarify the message being delivered.
It is important to know our values, and know what it is we want to communicate before we attempt to do so, because perception has an effect, and it has the power to unite us, or destroy us. So think about, how your perception is affecting you, and the other person. That’s appreciation. Appreciation, for yourself, and appreciation for the other person’s self, and if you learn to appreciate both of these beings, you hold the key tool to indulging in good, healthy, meaningful communication. Communication that is going to unite, embrace and encourage both of you to grow.
Without going too deeply into the methods of gaining a better perception of ourselves and others, Tisiola gave us 6 vital steps to practice in order to improve our powers of perception and communication with those around us.
1. Acute Awareness – Become acutely aware of the effect of your perception before communication. By developing your sensory acuity you will have the ability to tell someone’s response to a situation from physical cues.
2. Remember there are two sides of communication. What’s the purpose of your message, and what’s the purpose of listening?
3. Acceptance of yourself first, and acceptance of the other.
4. Discernment has two sides also. Reflection and Appreciation. You need these to help you let go of unwanted thoughts.
5. Commitment, to the process and progress of growth and development.
6. Willingness. You must be willing to show up fully and wholeheartedly for yourself, as Brene Brown says.
So just to summarise, remember to be mindful of what thoughts you feed yourself, because those little morsels have enormous power. Words may be mightier than the sword, but I think thoughts are the mightiest of all. They don’t even need to see the light of day to do good or bad, they just swim around silently, creating mayhem or majesty, whatever we choose to perceive our reality to be.
The choice is ours. Good communication or bad. We can choose to develop our Powers of Perception, and enhance our communion with others, or not. But we can’t choose to develop fully in isolation. It doesn’t quite work that way. We thrive; those around us prosper. We wither; we are all the poorer.
So firstly, let’s enjoy true freedom, by belonging to none other than ourselves, whilst at the same time, enriching and being enriched from our fellow travellers’ tales and stories, while we all draw from the abundant and profound well of humanity.
Bella Hoyne
